How To Survive The First Year of Being a Mom

How to survive the first year of being a mom… Now that my son is 1 year old I feel qualified to talk about how to survive the first year of being a mom. Whew, what a year…

If you’re a new mom or an expecting mom I just want to say congratulations! You are/will be a good mom, don’t let the mom guilt get a hold of you.

Being a mom has been the best thing I’ve done but also the HARDEST. But I promise the good absolutely outweighs the bad. This little kid has improved my life and made me so happy and I’m so happy I’m his momma.

When I was pregnant I remember being so scared and overwhelmed by being a mom. I was scared I would mess something up or make a mistake. I was scared I wouldn’t know how to hold my son or take care of him.

Everyone told me that on the things like that, my mother instincts would kick in and it would be automatic.

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They were right! Sort of…

My maternal instincts came in when it came to holding him, rocking him, and cuddling him as they said but… they did NOT come with the rest such as changing diapers, breastfeeding, bathing, wake windows, etc…

I had to learn almost everything else about being a mom

There were points when I thought I was never going to get a hang of motherhood. It felt like I was DOOMED to be a hot mess mama who spends days crying and lost and confused.

I felt so alone and scared and I had no idea how to take care of the helpless, most beautiful little human I’ve ever seen that I was holding in my arms.

I truly thank my mom so much for answering my questions and just helping me out in so many ways. Here are some of the things about being a mom that she taught me as well as things I’ve figured out on my own!

Here’s how to survive the first year of being a mom.

I’ll try to write this list in order of when you may need the information. We’ll start at the beginning and go from there!

There are so many different milestones your baby will reach in the first year. There is there’s lots of great info and tips! Here are my favorites and what I think are staples in my home. These tips truly helped me through that first scary year of motherhood.

Keep in mind Breastfeeding is a process

If you choose/are able to breastfeed, then one of the first things you’ll be doing with your baby is working on getting the baby to latch.

My son had a hard time latching the first few days. There would be times when he was so hungry but he was so confused about where the nipple was and wouldn’t latch.

If this is the case for you I suggest you invest in some nipple covers to start!

When it comes to breastfeeding, just know it will take some time for your body to regulate and for you to get used to it. But once you’re a few months in you’ll look back and be so proud of how far you’ve come. One day it will be a breeze! Try not to get discouraged.

Don’t submerge the baby in water until the umbilical cord has fallen off

Before I got pregnant I had no idea that you weren’t supposed to give babies a full bath until their umbilical cord falls off.

For the first few days, you’ll have to give the baby a sponge bath in your sink to prevent water from touching the umbilical cord.

The umbilical cord takes a few days up to 2-4 weeks to fall off. I remember those few days feeling like the longest few days because I was so excited for my baby’s umbilical cord to fall off and to see his like belly button!

I googled all the time when it would fall off. But then again googling stuff is just part of being a mom lol.

Headphones are a lifesaver

I recommend investing in some noise-canceling wireless headphones for the long nights/days when your baby just won’t stop crying. I found recently that if you put in some headphones with your favorite music it helps with patience.

Sometimes the screeching can be overwhelming and you’ll need to take breaks faster. However, when listening to music you can rock them and tell them you love them and soothe them for longer.

I only found this recently after my son turned one and I really wish I had headphones and thought of it before. This would have been so helpful for the nights I cried with my son.

Learn about sleep windows

At each stage, babies have different windows of how long they can stay awake/sleep. Check out the chart below:

Learning about sleep windows and when to put your baby down for a nap is game-changing. I did not learn about sleep windows until about a month or two in and I was exhausted and confused.

After I started following the sleep/wake windows it made such a difference. Make sure you also pay attention to sleepy cues such as rubbing their face, yawning, red eyes/eyebrows, staring, and fussiness.

Go through the newborn checklist

Yes, there is a checklist for your baby. If your baby is crying and you can’t figure out why this checklist will help.

What does your baby need;

To be burped?

Milk?

Diaper change?

Cuddles?

Pacifier?

Sleep?

Gas relief?

I tried to go through this checklist anytime I could feel myself getting flustered and frustrated with myself. Often times I was able to find something to help. Sometimes it’s good to run through a mental checklist.

Water, nature & vacuums work wonders

If you have an inconsolable baby who just won’t calm down even after the checklist try these three things.

Turn on the vacuum/ use a white noise machine or app.

Take the baby outside for some fresh air and a change of scenery.

Give the baby a soothing bath.

If your baby is still having a hard time even after running through the checklist and using these hacks, please call your baby’s pediatric office. Your baby may have an underlying problem.

*some people say car rides help too but I can’t speak about that since my son always has and still does hate the car*

They’re having a hard time, not giving you a hard time

Sometimes after weeks of sleep deprivation and hours of screaming, your baby’s stubbornness can feel like a personal attack.

One of the best things I was taught was to remember that your baby is having a hard time, they’re not trying to give you a hard time.

Also please keep in mind that a little bit of crying alone in a safe space such as a crib won’t hurt your baby, but a flustered and frustrated caregiver can.

Remind yourself, your babysitter, your spouse, or anyone who cares for your baby that it’s okay to put the baby down and walk out of the bedroom.

Prioritize self-care

After a few months of being so consumed by taking care of your baby, you might realize that it’s been so long since you’ve done some self-care or even taken a shower.

Try to find some time to do some self-care for yourself. You spend all day filling your baby’s cup and there comes a time when you need to fill your own cup!

I did an experiment where I did one self-care act every single day for just a week and it made a huge difference to me. Even just doing something small can do wonders for your mental health.

If you are unable to have someone watch your baby, try putting a baby swing in your bathroom while you take a shower, or if your baby is older do some yoga while your baby plays around you (and on top of you but urs cute so it’s okay).

Just make sure you take care of yourself too and not just everyone else.

Always have 2 extra outfits in your diaper bag

If you don’t already have a diaper bag, what are you doing??? Go buy one right now!!!

You’re going to be carrying this diaper bag with you everywhere. Now, there are plenty of essentials you need for your diaper bag. Maybe I’ll make a post about that later.

However, you’re top essential for your diaper bag is TONS of diapers and 2 extra outfits. I’ve learned the hard way that you do not want to be stuck in public with a baby with a huge blowout and no more clothes to change him into.

THAT situation is a nightmare. Avoid that and learn from my mistakes.

Do a to-do list for the next day every night

If you’re a stay-at-home mom you may run into the problem where you have a hard time managing your time. There was a point in time when my house was a disaster because I was so focused on caring for my baby and THEN we had to move. TWICE!

Again, learn from my mistakes and avoid that.

I’ve found that if I create a to-do list every night for the next day I do better at managing my time.

I try to do things on my to-do list while my son plays or naps. Sometimes I have his high chair with lunch in whatever room I need to do stuff in.

Now, please keep your expectations fair. I NEVER complete 100% of everything on my to-do list. And that’s okay!

Forgive yourself when there are days your baby needs you more. There WILL be days when all you can do is take care of your baby. You’re still a great mom.

Don’t listen to Judgy people

I’ve found that there are just some people who will always judge you. Whether that be on the internet or in real life, no matter how perfect your parenting is, you’ll get comments from Karens.

There will always be some older, more seasoned mom judging you because your baby doesn’t have socks or your baby’s too big or small or blah blah blah.

Say f you and do what you want anyways. As long as you’re not harming your child in any way, there is no reason for you to worry about what people think.

There are so many different types of parenting styles. Find one that you love most.

Repeat after me… What people think of you is NONE OF YOUR D*MN BUSINESS.

Don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake.

It’s impossible to be a perfect parent. Impossible. Don’t let the mom guilt beat you up if you think you handled a situation wrong.

Sh*t happens. It’s okay to make a mistake as long as you recognize it and use what you’ve learned to do better next time.

As long as you’re consistently working to do better and learn and grow and apologize when you make a mistake, then your child will just remember how awesome of a momma you are.

It’s okay to use TV as a tool.

When I was pregnant I vowed I would never have my baby watch TV. What kind of crazy mother puts their baby in front of the TV????? Theeeen I became a mom. Obviously, in the first few months, there really is no point in using the TV as a tool. They aren’t really watching anyway.

However, if you use the television as a tool every once in a while, it’s okay! Some days they just need a short distraction so you can just get 5 minutes alone. Try to avoid using the TV too much but don’t waste time beating yourself up if you do use it. A little bit isn’t gonna kill ‘em

ALWAYS communicate with your partner

Becoming parents with your partner will likely bring up some conflict. I’ve heard some people say that the first 2 years after having a kid can be hardest for couples because it’s such a change.

You are both learning this together and this is scary for both of you. Make sure that you communicate your needs and tell your partner when you need help with the baby.

I found it so hard to sometimes sit back and let my husband parent. I kept trying to help him or guide him or correct him. Then I realized that I needed to step back and let him find his parenting style.

Have frequent talks where you can align both of your parenting styles and make sure you agree with each other for the most part.

Go on frequent dates with your partner

One thing that was game-changing for my husband and I was prioritizing going on dates are least twice monthly.

You can adjust that number based on your lifestyle, but the important thing is that you take time to continue to date your partner even well into marriage.

Having kids can put a strain on things so it’s important to come back together and reconnect. Sure, you’ll miss your baby, but that’s just being a mom.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

If your trust people in your life to take care of your son, let them! It’s okay to need a breather and it’s okay to ask for help. Being away from your kiddo for a bit doesn’t make you a bad mom.

I remember feeling so guilty when I needed to ask for help. I felt the need to be always around and never let m baby out of my sight, but that’s crazy! My mom and my wonderful in-laws would gladly watch my son. I just had anxiety.

Don’t push yourself past your limit. You are human and you do need a break. Being a mom is a 24/7 job. You don’t want your kiddos to see a burnt-out mama who is afraid to ask for help!

If you don’t have any family or partner, reach out for help. You deserve the best version of yourself and so does your baby. You can reach out to a therapist and find creative ways to get a few minutes alone.

Educate yourself on the next stage

One thing that really helped me in the first year of being a mom was that I research everything. Google can be your best friend.

Throughout my pregnancy, I researched everything I could about the newborn stage and how to make it run as smoothly as possible.

Then in the newborn stage, I did research about the 1-3 month stage. Then 3-6 and so on.

Don’t get me wrong, I still didn’t know what I was doing, but it helped that I knew a little bit about what I was doing. So many moms talk about their experiences. You’re not alone!

Make sure you don’t over-obsess and google too much, but if you think something is wrong make sure you contact your pediatric office.

Utilize their naps

This can mean different things to you. In the first few weeks or even months, it’s important that you sleep when the baby sleeps. It’s okay to put off things in the first few weeks to months.

Your body just grew a human being for 9 months while you still had to find the energy to live life. THEN you pushed out a baby. Then if you end up breastfeeding you’re going to be even more exhausted the next few weeks.

REST! Sleeping when your baby sleeps in the first few months is extremely important. By 4-6 months they’re more awake and mobile so I recommend you sleep before that happens. Your energy will come back. That’s just part of being a mom!

Then once you have more energy you’ll want to avoid wasting time scrolling. Utilize their nap time to do important things such as:

*self-care

*Yoga

*meditation

*Cleaning

*eating a full meal

*Gratitude Journal

*Meal plan

Even just the little bit that they nap is enough to get more done than you think! Your sanity will thank you if in the first part of being a mom, you sleep when the baby sleeps and in the second part when their older you get things done while they sleep!

And that’s how to survive the first year of being a mom!

Please comment below on some of your favorite pieces of advice! Let me know how you liked this post. Thank you for taking the time to read my post I really appreciate it!! If you liked it, you can check out some of my other posts!

“Just wait ’till”… the positive version (short)

How I’m finding myself again in parenthood

Things you might not know about pregnancy