Welcome to the wonderful world of toddlerhood, where each day brings new adventures, challenges, and lessons in patience. Parenting a toddler is a joyous journey filled with laughter, love, and yes, moments that test your patience. But don’t worry momma! You are not alone. In this guide, we’re going to explore the art of patience and how mastering it can transform your parenting experience into a more enjoyable and fulfilling one.
My son is 2 and there are certainly times when I need to cool down and remember to be patient. Sometimes when you spend 24/7 with your little one it can be hard to remember that they aren’t necessarily testing you on purpose.
Understanding the Toddler Mind
Before we delve into strategies for patience, it’s important to understand the mind of a toddler.
Toddlers are like little explorers, navigating the world with boundless curiosity and energy. So chances are that means they are getting into things they shouldn’t, learning the boundaries of your home, asking the same question over and over, and bouncing off the walls.
They’re also discovering their independence, which often leads to moments of defiance and frustration. Although, ultimately this is good news for you momma! This means that soon they will be able to do so much more themselves which will leave you proud and with much pressure off your shoulders.
It’s crucial to remember that tantrums, stubbornness, and resistance are all normal parts of toddler development. Often they just need some guidance from you to find their emotional medium. This is why it’s important to learn patience yourself so you can model the behaviors you want them to have. Remember, everything you’re doing, they’ll do too.
Tips for Cultivating Patience:
Practice Empathy
Put yourself in your toddler’s tiny shoes. Understand that their world is filled with new experiences and emotions they’re still learning to manage. By empathizing with their perspective, you’ll approach challenging situations with compassion and understanding.
Some examples:
You may have a hard time understanding why the blue bowl just set them off because they wanted the green bowl. However, getting down to their level and helping them calm down is important. Acknowledge that you understand why they’re frustrated, but explain that a tantrum isn’t the way to get what they want. Help guide them to ask nicely.
If they are just repeating things over and over and over until you are insane, just remember that they are new to this life and don’t understand some things. My son often asks me the question “What’s that?” on things I know he already knows, and it can be hard to repeat and answer 500,000,000 times a day. Recently I started asking him back “What do you think?” and he’ll often respond with the correct answer.
If it seems they are having a tantrum for no reason at all, keep in mind that they may have other factors causing this. They may be exhausted, hungry, thirsty, overstimulated, having growing pains, disappointed things didn’t go a certain way, frustrated, having a hard time communicating their needs, sick, needing one-on-one attention, and more.
Remember: Toddlers often aren’t acting a certain way on purpose to annoy you or test your patience. They are simply just trying to start life out and sometimes that’s a lot! It’s your job to keep your cool as much as you can and help them navigate this crazy thing called life.
Set Realistic Expectations
Toddlers have their own pace and agenda, which may not always align with yours. Set realistic expectations for their behavior and abilities based on their age and developmental stage. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a toddler’s patience or self-control.
The process of teaching a toddler to overcome their challenges will likely take weeks, months, or even years. However, if you strive to stay consistent and have patience with them, this may come faster than you think. Being a mom is so hard and challenging. But one day your toddler will be older and you’ll realize that all of that work was 100% worth it!
Stay Calm and Positive: When faced with a meltdown or defiance, it’s easy to react with frustration or anger. However, maintaining a calm and positive demeanor can diffuse tense situations and model healthy emotional regulation for your child. Take deep breaths, count to ten if necessary, and remind yourself that this too shall pass.
Practice Mindfulness
Incorporate mindfulness techniques into your daily routine to stay grounded and present in the moment. Whether it’s through deep breathing exercises, meditation, or simply focusing on the sights and sounds around you, mindfulness can help you maintain perspective and react more thoughtfully to challenging situations.
Taking your kiddo outside and slowing down can be a great way to practice this. Often toddlers point things out that have just blurred in the background for use as we grew up. For example, my son loves listening to birds chirp, watching clouds go by, and collecting wildflowers, and he’s oddly obsessed with looking at telephone poles. It is so much fun to see what catches their eye!
Another thing I love to do is tell my son “You make me happy” “Mommy loves you so much” or “You make me smile”. What this does is remind me of the wonderful benefits he gives me as well as he starts to repeat those phrases to me which makes my heart so warm.
The last thing I’d suggest you do is to start avoiding using screens so much. There was a point where I was on my phone too frequently and he watched TV too frequently. Over time I realized this caused me to lose patience faster as well as making him grumpy and frustrated if the TV wasn’t on. I started avoiding having the TV on and spending more one-on-one time with him by drawing/coloring, playing with his toys, showing him flashcards (he loves this so much), going outside, and even encouraging him to play alone while mommy gets some things done.
Offer Choices
Empower your toddler by offering them choices within reasonable limits. This allows them to assert their independence while still following your guidelines. For example, instead of demanding they put on their shoes, offer options like, “Would you like to wear the red shoes or the blue shoes today?”
My son loves to have control as much as he can. I’ve realized how frustrating it must be if you have zero control over your entire life! Giving your toddler choices can be a great way to minimize tantrums and meltdowns because they feel a sense of control!
Utilize Timers
This is my favorite way to help my toddler transition between tasks. Keep in mind that it is very hard to go from doing something fun to doing something less fun with zero warning.
A few months ago I started using timers as a tool to help him understand what’s going on. So I’ll tell him something along the lines of “5 more minutes of playing, then we need to try to go potty” or “I’m setting a timer for 3 minutes, once this goes off we need to get ready to go.”
Try to use it for fun transitions as well to keep the timer from being a bad thing. For example “3 more minutes of clean up, then we can go to the park” or “Just 5 minutes of mommy doing dishes then we can play!”
Use the First, Then phrase
This is another way to help your toddler transition. There are times when I’m trying to take my toddler potty, tell him no more TV, or let him know what’s going on that he gets frustrated and throws a fit.
I’ve found that if I use phrases such as:
“First, potty. Then, play”
“First, turn off the TV, then outside”
“First, we’ll read a book, then put you to bed.”
My son tends to understand much easier and he’s even started contributing his ideas on what he wants to do next!
Don’t forget to say yes sometimes
Recently I saw a thing that said to make sure you say yes about as much as you say no. Then I realized we have been telling my son no more frequently and it’s started to cause frustration. Often I would tell him no simply out of laziness or just because I was tired. For example, my son would ask me to go outside and I’d say “No, it’s too cold outside” rather than say “Yes!” and put on our jackets. Or my son would be eating dinner and ask for some milk and I would tell him no because he already has water (solely because I didn’t want to get up).
Say yes to some things, obviously within reason, is important. Imagine how frustrating it would be if everything you suggested or asked for was shut down. Sometimes it’s important to let them know that their wants and ideas are heard and important to us!
Celebrate Small Victories
Parenting a toddler is a series of small victories. Celebrate each milestone, no matter how seemingly insignificant. Whether it’s successfully using the potty, sharing a toy with a friend, or trying a new food, praise your child’s efforts and resilience. Positive reinforcement goes a long way in nurturing patience and confidence.
Sometimes just acting as if your kid pooping in the toilet or cleaning up his toys is the coolest thing in the world is all they need to continue that! Showering them with love for each milestone or good thing they do will help them remember that you are happy for them and proud of them.
Practice Self-Care
Remember that you’re only human, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed or exhausted at times. Prioritize self-care by carving out moments for relaxation, hobbies, and social connections. A well-rested and rejuvenated momma is better equipped to handle the challenges of toddlerhood with patience and grace.
Take time to care for yourself even when your kiddo has to be with you.. I often tell my son that first I need to take care of myself before I can do anything with him! In the mornings I try to prioritize getting ready for the day, and sometimes that looks like me telling him to wait in his high chair a little longer while I finish doing my hair.
I think it’s important for toddlers and kids to realize that we matter too. The world can’t completely revolve around them, and they need to watch us prioritize ourselves for them to prioritize their own needs one day in the future. So take care of yourself even when nobody is watching your kids for you!!
Embracing the Patience Journey
Motherhood is a journey filled with highs and lows, twists and turns, and endless growth opportunities. Embrace the challenges of toddlerhood as valuable lessons in patience, resilience, and unconditional love. By cultivating patience not only for your child but also for yourself, you’ll create a nurturing environment where both you and your toddler can thrive.
In Conclusion
As you set out on this adventure called motherhood, remember that patience is not just a virtue; it’s a skill that can be strengthened with time and practice. By understanding your toddler’s perspective, staying calm and positive, and practicing self-care, you’ll navigate the ups and downs of toddlerhood with grace and resilience. So take a deep breath, embrace the chaos, and savor the precious moments of joy and laughter along the way. You’ve got this!
I Hope This Helps You Gain Patience
Please leave a comment below if you know of any other tips I didn’t mention in this post! I am still working on my patience with my son as well and would love to hear even more advice. Thank you so much for checking out my little blog. I’d love for you to stay and check out some of my other posts!
